What they don’t tell you about relationships…the real life story

So this afternoon I feel warrants a DL on what they DONT tell you about relationships when your 15 and oh so in love with that boy/girl at school, you’re going to go on holiday, live together and get married and live happily ever after because you love each other sooooo much right? And it’s all going to work out just peachy yeah?…WRONG!!

Now listen I’m not going to say this never happens because it does happen and I have lots of friends who are really happy with their high school significant others butttt that doesn’t mean the relationship is without it’s toils!

What they don’t tell you No1…

You know when you thought it would be a really cool idea to move in with one another and it would be cool because he likes to Hoover and you like to iron so chores are going to work out just peachy with a nice 50/50 split…NOPE!…think about the jobs neither one of you do/did at home and think about who will be doing those! I never scrubbed a toilet in my life before I moved out at 18 and boy was that a bone of contention when I woke up every morning to dried urine on the back of the toilet seat!…no one wants to smell that, no one wants to see that and most certainly no one wants to clean that, so trust me it will become a festering wound of obligation if your the only one with their marigolds on and head down the toilet bowl every day!

What they don’t tell you part 2…

You’re going to have to be extremely emotionally intelligent to get past the three year mark. Yup those rumours you heard are true if you can get past year three you’re either cooking on gas or finding a new place to live! On average it takes three years living with your partner to know and understand their personality fully. By this point your either willing to deal with their quirks or your not…and sometimes guys it’s honestly not going to be worth what you have to give emotionally to keep going.

…you see we all have a little narcissism

Yup that’s correct 6 years studying and qualification in behaviour and ten years working it I may be telling you something you already know but guys we all, even us little cutie pies who have only good in our hearts are not always so golden!…we all have the ability to be hypocritical and enjoy feeling superior from time to time it’s true! But beware this can quickly get out of hand if your inappropriately matched!

You’ve heard the saying opposites attract right?…

Well yeah they say this for a reason. Usually one individual in the relationship is more narcissistic than the other. Now I’m not talking a full disorder here guys I’m going to keep this light but if your partner enjoys inflating their sense of self and believing that they are superior to you you better be ready to either accept it and emotionally move past how that can make you feel or move on!

Ding ding round 3…

Don’t believe that there is a fairy tale ending…there isn’t one! I’m sorry to break it to you guys but life goes on. Be it after children or even a wedding don’t expect that life is going to flow your way from there forward. At the end of the day there is only so much that is within your control!…My mother once told me ‘If you don’t like the game change the way you play or don’t play at all’…I never understood this until I reached my own emotional maturity (I was a late bloomer around 27). What did she mean? Change the way you play? Don’t play at all?…finally at 27 I understood. In a relationship you will always find those things you really hate about your partner, they may be overly critical or football obsessed. They might be naturally flirty with others and this may really knock your confidence. Now you can choose to approach this as an adult and and attempt to discuss (however from my own experience unless your partner matches your emotional maturity don’t hold your breath for long term change!), you can choose to walk away (may feel a little extreme) orrrr here comes the juicy bit…Like for part 2…😜

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